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Worst 20 Singles of 2015

12/19/2015

25 Comments

 
Before we check out what dominated our playlists in 2015 with our best-of list, we must first look back on what disgusted us over the course of the year. In years past, the award for worst single of 2015 has gone to Chase Rice's "Ready Set Roll" (2013) and Jerrod Niemann's "Donkey" (2014). Please enjoy our third annual Worst-of the year list, featuring once again, sabre14!
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#20
Florida Georgia Line, "Anything Goes"

Ever wondered what bro-country going through the motions sounds like? Listen to "Anything Goes." This song covered no new ground for this duo and was a very boring song that just extended their album's life-cycle further - sabre14

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#19 
Luke Bryan and Karen Fairchild, "Home Alone Tonight"


MacCauly Culkin should sue you for not crediting him on this song Luke! Imagine the most childish things that two adults can do and you pretty much have "Home Alone Tonight". The production is horrible, making Karen Fairchild sound drowned out, and hell, even that annoying charisma that Luke can usually brings to a song is missing here. This is what the Entertainer Of The Year is pumping out? - Zackary Kephart

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#18
Tyler Farr, "Better In Boots"

Suffer In Peace was a rock-solid album, featuring many superb tracks. This is not one of them. "Better In Boots" finds Tyler Farr at his most phoned-in, delivering an unoriginal song backed by a grating arrangement. You're better than this Tyler. - Markus Meyer

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#17
Dallas Smith, "Kids With Cars"


Dallas Smith has an excellent voice, and has proven on multiple occasions that he can make great music (see: "Somebody Somewhere"), but "Kids With Cars" is a waste of that talent. Lyrically... It's fine. It doesn't really go anywhere, but it's relatively unoffensive. Where it loses it's credibility is in the production, where Joey Moi absolutely obliterates any sort of redeeming quality to the record. This one hurt to listen to. - MM

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#16
Miranda Lambert, "Little Red Wagon"

Miranda Lambert is usually a solid ambassador for substantial country music, which is what makes the release of "Little Red Wagon" even more dissapointing. With a surprisingly grating performance, an obnoxious production and a tasteless melody, "Little Red Wagon" easily ranks as one of, if not Lambert's worst track to-date. - MM

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#15
Chris Lane, "Fix"


After trying to break out with the horrible bro-country "Broken Windshield View", Chris Lane is back to trend chasing with "Fix". Not only is this song cliche, it's horrible as all hell too. Stop comparing love to drugs! It's overdone in two genres for crying out loud! And what the hell is that production? Hell, Sam Hunt is looking sideways at this thing! Also, Chris, you're definitely not cool enough to reference Walter White. This song is a joke that proves pretty boys and Pop sounds are all it takes to make it in mainstream Country music these days - ZK


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#14
Zac Brown Band, "Beautiful Drug"


This single isn't by Zac Brown, it's by Benedict Arnold. Even though Zac Brown Band have never been my exact cup of tea, you could at least always count on them to deliver different material from what the mainstream offered. With "Beautiful Drug", we find Zac selling out hard, adopting the same Pop sound that radio loves right now along with the Kesha, "Your Love Is My Drug" theme that has worn out its welcome in Country AND Pop. Enjoy the money boys, it only cost all of mine, and many others' respect for you guys - ZK

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#13 
Michael Ray, "Real Men Love Jesus"


"Real Men Love Jesus" may not be the hardest single to listen to on this list, but it might just be the most distastefully written. The lyrics are nothing more than an obnoxious list of male stereotypes that portray "real men" as those who love fishing and fast cars. Absolutely awful record, no matter how pleasant the production and melody may be. - MM

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#12
Thomas Rhett, "Crash and Burn"

Make no mistake, Thomas Rhett is trying to become a pop artist. The problem is that country radio doesn't seem to mind. "Crash And Burn" was the least country hit, sonically, of the entire year outside of "Break Up In A Small Town." I also believe Thomas' vocals in the verses were some of the worst of the year. I'm sure there's a decent song within the lyrics but the production tactic taken, ruined it - sabre14

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#11
Luke Bryan, "Kick The Dust Up"


Maturity. That's what we were promised with Luke Bryan's new material earlier this year. And you know what? We got it. "Kick The Dust Up" is an excellent tale about the woes that Luke's grandparents faced during the Dust Bowl. The only way they got through it was to shout "kick the dust up!", which helped increase their spirits. Just kidding! It's a song about a hot girl, alcohol and a spot nobody knows! YEEEEEHHHAAAAWW!!!!!! - ZK


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#10
Waterloo Revival, "Bad For You"


Another example of trend chasing. Waterloo Revival and their label, Big Machine Records, decided to try and capitalize on the pop/R&B trend at radio in the summer of 2015 and release this Maroon 5-esque song as this new group's second career single. The production and instrumentation are nothing country except for that lonely mandolin, that is totally out of place. This duo will soon be without a label with more misfires like this and a lack of artist identity - sabre14

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#9
The Band Perry, "Live Forever"


What separates "Live Forever" from some of the other entries on this list is that, on it's own merits, it's actually a pretty decent record. That said, it in now way, shape or form represents anything resembling country music. It is a pop song, nothing more, nothing less. A good one, sure, but a pop record nonetheless. - MM

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#8
David Fanning, "Doin' Country Right"

No idea what the folks at Red Bow Records and Broken Bow Music Group were thinking when they decided that this would be a good idea to release as David's second single in February of 2015. The song sounds like some parody of a bro-country song with the utterly annoying repetitiveness of the song's atrocious lyrics. It also might be the most ironic title for a song I've ever come across - sabre14


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#7
Old Dominion, "Break Up With Him"


"Break Up With Him" is without question the douchiest song of 2015. With the narrator spending the duration of the song telling the girl in the question to ditch her boyfriend to go mess around with him instead. It's disturbing as much as it is creepy, and is one of the most disgusting records of the past few years. - MM

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#6
Bret Michaels, "Girls On Bars"


As Alan Jackson once said, "everybody's gone country!". That's what Bret Michaels did, not with passion or love in his eyes, but with dollar signs. This bro-country schlock sucked in 2012, and it most certainly still sucks today. This limited character space isn't enough to tear this thing to shreds, so I'll leave it with this: screw this shit. (Also Bret, I see you described this as "Americana". Jason Isbell should personally come to your door and kick your ass) - ZK


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#5
Uncle Ezra Ray, "BYHB"


​"BYHB" is that annoying kid you knew in high school who always disrupted the class and never matured past "69" jokes. You always wanted to kick the shit out of him, but in the end, you knew he wouldn't matter someday, given that he was a nobody who wouldn't make anything out of himself. "BYHB" recycles some awful bro-country lyrics and actually makes Florida Georgian Line sound like Mozart in comparison. But this group of washed rockers will do nothing, and contine to look pathetic in the eyes of consumers everywhere. Fun fact: I could easily copy and paste what I said about Ezra Ray here and swap their name out for Bret's and you'd still get an accurate description of this flaming pile of dog shit! - ZK

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#4
Jake Owen, "Real Life"

To be honest, I actually like the premise of "Real Life". Many people live this song's lyrics in their ordinary lives...but the way that this song goes about getting that message across is where it flies off the tracks. Jake's great vocals are masked by quick talking lyrics that are extremely grating and the Smashmouth like production is anything but country - sabre14


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#3
Danielle Bradbery, "Friend Zone"

This was, in my opinion, the single worst piece of music all year. "Friend Zone" wasn't officially released to radio -- just iTunes and Sirius/XM satellite radio but I wish it wasn't released to any music platform. This song's horrific vocal arrangement with Danielle attempting her version of talk/rap-like lyrics and odd sports analogies would be bad enough to warrant getting included on this list but the song's subject is completely and utterly inaccurate. Somebody being relegated to the "Friend Zone" is not the inability of calling a girl...it's when that certain guy, who cares enough for that special girl, feels more like a "brother" to her than her actual boyfriend. This song should never have been written let alone recorded and released - sabre14


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#2
Sam Hunt, "Break Up In A Small Town"


Does this song feature a small town? Yes. Is it Country? Hell no. This song is 100% EDM with some horrible Drake-esque rapping from Sam himself. In all honesty, the idea for the song is good, but the way Sam gets to his destination decimates any chance of this being a well-written song. She would "get down"? Come again? Also, alluding to violence in the bridge? Yeah, I can see why you lost her buddy. The success of this song proves how far the genre has slipped in these past few years - ZK

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#1
Hayley Georgia, "Ridiculous"


Wow. Just, wow. How can any one song convey so much badness all at once? I'm almost at a loss for words. The fact that it's not country in any way is the least of it's problems. The melody is grating, the vocal is obnoxious, and the lyrics... The lyrics, and more specifically, the hook of "you're ri-dic, you're ri-dic" hook", are unmatched in absolutely terribleness. It's hilariously bad, and if you haven't heard it, consider yourself lucky. It is without doubt worthy of the #1 spot on TICM's worst of 2015 countdown. - MM

25 Comments
Cobra link
12/21/2015 06:49:16 pm

Hard to argue with anything on this list. Some really REALLY bad stuff.

Reply
Nadia Lockheart
12/22/2015 12:40:56 pm

Of all the Year-End Worst Singles lists I've seen thus far, yours is the one I agree with the most.

Even though "Break Up In A Small Town" is the vastly more dangerous song in terms of net commercial impact (it's undoubtedly rolling towards #1 now), "Ridiculous" is the more grating track on its own merit (or lack thereof).

Here's my Top Ten:

*

1) Haley Georgia: “Ridiculous” (Sure, it flopped big time. Still, this is particularly bad in that it heinously leaves an impression on you. It is for that reason why Haley walks away with the asbestos-laced nuclear waste cake.)

2) Sam Hunt: “Break Up In A Small Town” (The single most damaging single release of 2015 on musical, lyrical and production fronts combined. Its ability to impact the Top Ten this coming week is terrible news.)

3: Old Dominion: “Break Up With Him” (The single most offensively douchey single of 2015. It falls below Sam Hunt only because the production is uneventfully bland.)

4: Brett Michaels: “Girls On Bars” (Another stone cold flop. Still, it had this infectiously toxic cult curiosity driving it that leaves it deserving of a thrashing in the year-end countdown anyway.)

5: Chris Lane: “Fix” (It’s only now beginning to highly impact radio via On The Verge, but it isn’t escaping my sight for 2015. Between the Old Dominion-esque sleaze factor, comparing list to Walter White highs and the shamelessly lightweight pop production, this is a new low to closely watch with fright.)

6: Dallas Smith: “Kids With Cars” (Even with Joey Moi helming his entire country recording career thus far, his earlier efforts and “Lifted” showed signs of relative promise. Not here. The rap-like delivery in the verses is painful listening to, and the production is arguably Moi’s single most cacophonously cluttered heap of eardrum whiplash yet. Stop “Wasting My Time”, Dallas!)

7: Danielle Bradbery: “Friend Zone” (What makes this track especially toxic are lyrics that make apologies to Men’s Right Activist rhetoric. From a woman. Forget the atrocious production and personality-deprived vocals: there are some disturbing insinuations in the songwriting.)

8: Zac Brown Band: “Beautiful Drug” (Another single that’s holding its own at country radio and spells terrible news for the format’s future if it reaches the Top Ten because it will likened to a referendum on allowing more synthetic production antithetical to country music and shallow lyricism lacking narrative.)

9: David Fanning: “Doin’ Country Right” (You know it’s an especially brutal year for mainstream “country” music when this single wound up tanking to #9 on the year-end worst countdown. Especially seeing how stuttering vocal production is the only thing memorable about it for the very worst reasons.)

10: Abi Ann: “Truck Candy” (This would definitely be in my Top Three if, somehow, it didn’t seem like it HAD to be a novelty song-esque joke on us. Still, it’s painful listening to in any context.)

*

*****Dishonorable Mentions*****

Thomas Rhett: "Crash & Burn" (Earlier this year, this was seriously poised as the front-runner for the worst becauseof the fact it shamelessly plagiarizes Sam Cooke alone. But after hearing countless derivative songs as the year went on, including "Die A Happy Man" being a shameless rip-off of "Thinking Out Loud"..............somehow my perception shifted somewhat and I concluded there were ten worse songs than this. Still, this track infuriates me.)

Waterloo Revival: "Bad For You" (Forget the metro-bro R&B alarms. The vastly worse trend to have emerged this past year is escalating lyrical douchebaggery that doesn't even try to hide itself. Old Dominion has taken it to new extremes, and Waterloo Revival seem poised to carry the baton onward.)

Scotty McCreery: "Southern Belle" (Just outright painful a listen. The shameless pandering is a new low for him, and the chorus production is so obstreperous you can hardly make out what he's saying (not that what he's saying is worth deciphering.))

Luke Bryan/Karen Fairchild: "Home Alone Tonight" (Honestly, "Kick The Dust Up" was predictable as far as what to expect with a lead single to the extent, as bad as it was, wasn't as jarring as a number of other singles this year. But this, on the other hand, is well beneath both performers. This song is absolutely pointless in its lyricism and overall performance, and painfully beneath them. Luke is almost 40 and, worse still, Karen is almost FIFTY! FIFTY! Grow the shucks up!)

Olivia Lane: "You Part 2" (I was going to reserve "BYHB" for the fifth and final slot, but then it occurred to me how Olivia Lane's debut release bothered me the most of the two in how it was, stylistically, trying to be more than it actually was: a shallow kiss-off ditty. At least with "BYHB", Uncle Ezra

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