39 years old. 39 damn years old. In case you were wondering, that’s Luke Bryan age, but you wouldn’t guess it if you only know him through his songs. For years now (well, 2011-2014, but still…..) Luke has established an empire singing about the most immature, banal subjects one could imagine, which from 2012 to now consists of hot girls, alcohol, trucks, back roads nobody knows, parties……..you get the message. Songs such as “Country Girl (Shake It For Me)”, “That’s My Kind Of Night”, and “Drunk On You” are about as cute and funny as a first grader telling all of his friends to pull his finger. And that’s what’s most puzzling. How the hell is an almost 40 year old man getting away with this?
I have my own thoughts, but this is a song review so I’ll leave them be for now. Anyway, back before the making of his fifth studio album, Kill The Lights, we were promised growth and maturity from Luke. We were promised more depth and sincerity. And by God, if Luke Bryan was Pinocchio, his nose would be stretched out about as far as the Nile River. Folks, Luke Bryan’s new single, “Home Alone Tonight” doesn’t mention backroads or bonfires, but that sure as hell as doesn’t mean it’s the least bit mature.
Alright, if I’m being honest, the song isn’t THAT bad, in fact, it’s kind of funny. In this song, Luke hangs out with Kevin McCallister where they fight off Harry and Marv, the two antagonists, and at the end, high five each other on a job well done. Only, plot twist! Turns out Luke is the antagonist after all and takes over Kevin’s house to deliver this cringefest of a storyline instead……
In this version of the song, Luke meets a girl at a bar. The two immediately hit it off, and, what a co-inkydink! They’re both getting over ex lovers! And what’s the best way to get revenge on ex lovers? Take drunken pictures of yourself with a stranger and send them to them! HA! As I used to say in fourth grade, YOU’RE GONNA NEED SOME ICE FOR THAT BURN!!!! This is one of the most childish themes for a song that I can imagine, and the lyrics don’t make it any better. Karen Fairchild of Little Big Town also joins Luke for this “song” and I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again….. you people are adults for crying out loud! It’s not that I don’t sympathize with people hurt by other lovers, but if you seriously think this song is cute or justifiable, then not only are you immature, you’re stupid for thinking that a move like that would actually make a damn bit of difference in hurting your ex.
Then you have the fact that this is an overproduced mess. Not only do Luke and Karen Fairchild sound bored on this, Karen’s voice sounds completely drowned out. There’s also that teensy weensy little fact that this isn’t a country song. A bad rock song? Yes, absolutely. But country? Hell no.
Overall, I’d rather hear the “Home Alone” version of this song (which doesn’t actually exist by the way, but oh how I wish it did) than the normal version any day. There is absolutely nothing redeemable about this song whether it be in the lyrics, the production or even just the charisma. Hell even in Luke’s worst songs, there’s still an undeniable amount of charisma that he brings that, while still annoying, is hard to deny exists. With this song, we have nothing but a vapid, shallow party tune.
Look, that maturity that Luke promised does come in a very small dose on Kill The Lights in the form of “To The Moon and Back” and “Scarecrows”, but if they’re only going to remain album cuts buried in the back of the album, then what’s the damn point? All three of Kill The Lights’s singles so far have been the atrocious radio ready tunes loaded at the front of the album, and we haven’t even gotten to the title track yet. Avoid “Home Alone Tonight” at all costs if you like good lyrics, good production, good vocals, or even just good songs.
Grade: F
Listen: “Home Alone Tonight”
Author: Zackary Kephart
I have my own thoughts, but this is a song review so I’ll leave them be for now. Anyway, back before the making of his fifth studio album, Kill The Lights, we were promised growth and maturity from Luke. We were promised more depth and sincerity. And by God, if Luke Bryan was Pinocchio, his nose would be stretched out about as far as the Nile River. Folks, Luke Bryan’s new single, “Home Alone Tonight” doesn’t mention backroads or bonfires, but that sure as hell as doesn’t mean it’s the least bit mature.
Alright, if I’m being honest, the song isn’t THAT bad, in fact, it’s kind of funny. In this song, Luke hangs out with Kevin McCallister where they fight off Harry and Marv, the two antagonists, and at the end, high five each other on a job well done. Only, plot twist! Turns out Luke is the antagonist after all and takes over Kevin’s house to deliver this cringefest of a storyline instead……
In this version of the song, Luke meets a girl at a bar. The two immediately hit it off, and, what a co-inkydink! They’re both getting over ex lovers! And what’s the best way to get revenge on ex lovers? Take drunken pictures of yourself with a stranger and send them to them! HA! As I used to say in fourth grade, YOU’RE GONNA NEED SOME ICE FOR THAT BURN!!!! This is one of the most childish themes for a song that I can imagine, and the lyrics don’t make it any better. Karen Fairchild of Little Big Town also joins Luke for this “song” and I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again….. you people are adults for crying out loud! It’s not that I don’t sympathize with people hurt by other lovers, but if you seriously think this song is cute or justifiable, then not only are you immature, you’re stupid for thinking that a move like that would actually make a damn bit of difference in hurting your ex.
Then you have the fact that this is an overproduced mess. Not only do Luke and Karen Fairchild sound bored on this, Karen’s voice sounds completely drowned out. There’s also that teensy weensy little fact that this isn’t a country song. A bad rock song? Yes, absolutely. But country? Hell no.
Overall, I’d rather hear the “Home Alone” version of this song (which doesn’t actually exist by the way, but oh how I wish it did) than the normal version any day. There is absolutely nothing redeemable about this song whether it be in the lyrics, the production or even just the charisma. Hell even in Luke’s worst songs, there’s still an undeniable amount of charisma that he brings that, while still annoying, is hard to deny exists. With this song, we have nothing but a vapid, shallow party tune.
Look, that maturity that Luke promised does come in a very small dose on Kill The Lights in the form of “To The Moon and Back” and “Scarecrows”, but if they’re only going to remain album cuts buried in the back of the album, then what’s the damn point? All three of Kill The Lights’s singles so far have been the atrocious radio ready tunes loaded at the front of the album, and we haven’t even gotten to the title track yet. Avoid “Home Alone Tonight” at all costs if you like good lyrics, good production, good vocals, or even just good songs.
Grade: F
Listen: “Home Alone Tonight”
Author: Zackary Kephart
